Suburban Odyssey

Six ‘a One, Half Dozen | May 11, 2009

Destination #4: The DeHousts, Oak Hill, VA. Approximately 436 mi.

10:37 a.m. EDT: Time of Departure (37 minutes behind ETD)

Weather Conditions: 83°F, hazy sunshine

Traffic Conditions: Moderate (many lights)

Soundtrack:  96.5 The Drive. Back on the road song: Elton John’s Tiny Dancer

Budget: Our bill from the Sheraton lists $53.86 worth of liquor over the week. Strong work by us.

Gas: Less than half full, stop at BP on the way out, and fill it up for $27.82 (2.06/gallon)

10:40 p.m. Craig decides to ignore Angus. Rather than following Angus on the scenic back roads we took on the way in, Craig chooses to take Rte 501 all the way to 95. We assumed that 501 was the most direct and quickest route. It is more direct, but a good part of it is just as slow as the “backways” that Angus had us on. A lot of lights, a lot of cars. We assure ourselves that rather than being slower it must be “six of one, half dozen of the other,” and we may not gain time, but we won’t lose it either.

11:16 a.m. Turning around in the front seat to attend to someone in the back, I bang my knee into the seatbelt buckle clip thingy for the twenty-seventh time of the trip. It is one too many times, and I actually injure my knee. This is what you get for turning around every ten minutes to give someone something.

11:25 a.m. In Angus We Trust. It seems that ‘ole Angus was insisting on the small roads for a reason. 501 stinks. Next time we will be listening to the Automated Irishman.

12:10 p.m. Enter North Carolina, and pass South of the Border, a giant tourist rest stop with rides, mini-golf, stores and restaurants. Rte 95 is peppered with billboards for South of the Border all through both states. It’s one of those places that we say we’ll stop at someday, but probably won’t.

12:53 p.m. We stop at a rest area in Fayettville, NC. It’s clean, has a changing table, and picnic tables in the shade. Now was that so hard? Craig and Cadence eat lunch (PB&J, what else?) in the shade while I feed Juju in the car. We’re back on the road by 1:15 p.m.

1:30 p.m. Cady’s Mix is playing in the back. The Hold Steady is on in the front. Craig, on his own accord, turns off The Hold Steady to listen to Isn’t She Lovely. He mumbles something about there being too many competing noises. But we know the truth. He likes Cady’s Mix.

2:02 p.m. Cady says, thoughtfully, “Mommy, I miss my cars.” She has cars at home that she is friends with. She drives them, in a pack of about ten, and parks them in various spots around the house.

“You do, Cade?” I answer, trying to suppress a smile.

“Yeah, they’re all alone.”

“Well, they have each other, honey.”

“But they only want me,” she explains, with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

What can a mother say to that? Eight days away from home, and your cars, is a long time.

3:05 p.m. Enter Virginia. Coincidentally, it smells like raw sewage suddenly. This is not a commentary on Virginia. This is a true account of events.

3:21 p.m. Cady is sleeping soundly, and Juju has gotten restless. The last thing we want is for Cadence to wake up from her sweet slumber. To calm her down, I give her some puffies, but she’s mostly interested in the container. This keeps her quiet, until she drops the container, which falls to the ground by the side door—and out of my reach. In desperation, I literally try to fish it toward me, using my seatbelt as the fishing line. This doesn’t work, so finally I stand up, straddle the seats, and reach down over her to retrieve it. Anyone driving by at this time I’m sure has quite a chuckle. I give her the container back, thinking the crisis is averted. Until I check on her and see that the top has come off of the container.  There are puffies and puffy dust all over her and the car seat. I do my best to clean it up, but all she wants is that container back. Unfortunately, this means that Cady’s nap is sure to combust soon.

3:31 p.m. Cady is awake, and not happy about it. She complains of a headache, and then whines repeatedly, “I wanna go home!” You can’t really blame the kid—it’s a lot of driving. So now we have the entire backseat whining and crying. Craig and I look at each other and just chuckle. There’s not much else to do at this point. I decide it’s time for me to jump into the backseat for a while, and try to entertain the troops. This is somewhat successful. I distract them by singing the Cranky Cady song, and I even get a smile out of Cadence. Craig sings back-up and works the rhythm on the steering wheel.

3:52 p.m. Time to pull out the alphabet game. Cadence pretends she doesn’t want to play, but then loves it. We soldier on through Richmond.

4:04 p.m. Craig and I are getting punchy. We’re stuck at Q for the alphabet game. We start talking in southern accents. It gets addicting, and Cady wants to know if I’m still her mom.

4:17 p.m. We stop to get gas at the Chamberlayne Sunoco, just north of Richmond (2.19/gallon—total of $30. 86) and head to McDonald’s to use the bathroom and feed the Juju.

4:48 p.m. We’re back on the road, bracing ourselves to hit Friday evening traffic. Cady is watching Chrysanthemum in the back, so Craig and I decide to finish the alphabet game (continuing our southern accents). Luckily, we pass a sign for Dairy Queen, and we soon finish the game handily.

5:38 p.m. We hit crawling traffic about 10 miles before Quantico. Gotta love Friday night. We’ve already been in the car longer today than any other day on the trip.

6:19 p.m. Cady starts to get punchy. We’re close, and she can feel it. She’s squealing and singing and trying to make Juju laugh.

6:22 p.m. We’re close to the May’s house and we had thought about possibly stopping in to retrieve Cady’s doll. Unfortunately, it’s just getting too late. Cady asks, “Mom, can you email my dolly?”

6:29 p.m. Juju strikes again. I had given her a small bag of rice cakes to play with, and she was happily crushing it for some time. Finally, Cady yells, “Moommm, she opened it again!” And she did, somehow she got a big rip in it and she’s covered in rice cakes. Yes, I should’ve learned to stop giving her food as toys, but she’s much more interested in playing with anything that isn’t a toy these days. The trip home has been much messier than the trip down.

6:44 p.m. We finally make it to the DeHoust house, and we’re ready for another fun stop in Northern VA.

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